Friends with Benefits (Club Risque Book 5) Read online

  She was limp and unresisting and had a euphoric feeling of having been washed clean.

  Now, the hand that had first spanked her alternately cupped her heated ass cheeks and stroked gentle fingers across her aching flesh. In their wake, she felt him igniting the flickering embers of her spanking and setting her body to a rapidly kindling burn which had the wisp of fabric from her thong already so soaked that she might have been self-conscious about it if she could have mustered the effort.

  As it was, she felt languid and peaceful and decidedly horny, but subtly so, rather than jumping out of her skin with lust. Which was rather surprising when it came to Christian, even despite her usual reticence regarding intercourse. But that wasn't what was going on here. No, this was about the decade of pent up emotions and frustrations, ones she hadn't been consciously aware had been eating at her, finally being shipped off on the sea of tears she had just cried. The sense of peace and liberation it had left her with was just as powerful an aphrodisiac, just a very much quieter one.

  Christian eased her legs apart and drew his finger along her seam, over the sodden fabric of her thong. A deep quake shuddered through Trinity's body and she groaned at the potency of that one simple touch.

  It didn't go any further, though, much to Trinity's regret. Christian stopped and turned her over and pulled her up until she was sitting on his knee, the dying sting in her butt flaring briefly at the contact.

  She looked up at him guilelessly, and Christian smiled affectionately, pressing a chaste kiss against her forehead as he pulled her close.

  "Why have you stopped?" she asked in confusion. She didn't want him to stop. She wanted him to continue, and she wanted to keep on feeling.

  Leaning back into the comfortable seat, Christian pulled her with him and settled her comfortably before answering. She couldn't help noticing that the serene, indulgent look on his still pretty face took away a strain she hadn't really noticed until it was gone.

  "Whilst I would like nothing more than to carry on, we are in your office—your unmonitored office—and we haven't negotiated anything beyond that spanking, which probably shouldn't really have happened in here, if I'm not mistaken.

  Trinity coloured immediately, heat filling her face until it was probably the same colour as her ass. She had completely forgotten herself and her good sense. How utterly mortifying!

  What on earth had she been thinking? Well, the short answer was that she hadn't been thinking at all, and now she had broken one of the cardinal rules. It was inexcusable! She was the assistant manager, after all, and as such, she should be beyond reproach.

  "Hey, stop beating yourself up over it," Christian admonished, correctly guessing her unease.

  "I should know better," Trinity retorted, losing some of the lovely languidness she'd been enjoying as reality set back in again. "I'm not just a member. I should be setting an example. What I just did was not professional at all!"

  "Well, if it helps, your boss did look in and check on us."

  Trinity sat bolt upright, all thoughts of relaxation gone. "Micah saw us?" she squeaked in utter consternation. What on earth would he think?

  "Yes, and he didn't look that upset, either, if the wink and the grin were anything to go by. But if it makes you feel any better, he did leave the door ajar so he could hear if things got out of hand or any safewords were shouted."

  No! It most certainly did not make her feel any better. In fact, if anything, it made her feel a whole lot worse. Now she was going to have to go and explain herself to Micah. How utterly embarrassing!

  Chapter 12

  It was beginning to feel a little like the film, Groundhog Day. Once again, evening had fallen, once again Trinity was sitting in her office, and once again she was waiting for Christian to turn up and hoping for a different outcome this time around.

  She still couldn't believe that Micah had been so chilled about yesterday's faux pas. He'd been far easier on her than she'd been on herself, a fact that he'd acknowledged when he'd commented that there was no point in him castigating her when she was doing such a good job of it, herself.

  Just as Christian had suggested, Micah was well aware of everything that was going on and had a handle on it all, and Trinity knew there was very little that ever got past the man.

  Still that didn't make it right, although she had stopped short of accepting the public punishment in the dungeon, which Micah had finally offered when she wouldn't stop criticising herself. It was one thing to accept responsibility for her wrong doings; it was quite another to accept a public humiliation that might undermine her authority in her job. So, that had been the end of it—as Micah had no doubt intended. The man was scarily intuitive, even for a shrink.

  Now Trinity was back to feeling awkward and uncomfortable and excited. Yeah, she could admit it to herself. The thought of seeing Christian tonight had her wound up as tight as a coiled spring that was flexing under pressure, ready to violently release. Things could get quite combustible tonight if she didn't watch herself. She had already made up her mind that she was not going to agree to intercourse with Christian…yet. It would muddy the water too much at this early stage. She wanted to enjoy having him as her Dom without that additional dynamic drawing her focus away from the direct enjoyment of a scene with him. Maybe she was just being selfish, but she knew that as soon as sex was added to the equation, there would be a whole new dimension added into the mix. While they were initially getting to know each other in these new roles, which had never been a part of their past existence, she wanted to enjoy the simplicity of scening without all of the baggage that intercourse would bring with it, because it would. No matter how much they both insisted they could keep things in the present, sex would change everything.

  Trinity was resolute. She also knew she was teetering on a fine line between cool, logical rationale and hot, sweaty desire. She was going to have to put her cards on the table as soon as Christian set foot through that door…before he had a chance to change her mind.

  Not that she suspected him of being manipulative, far from it. It was herself she was worried about. She might not know exactly how she felt about Christian as a person, especially the person—and the Dom—he was now, but even five years hadn't dampened any of the desire she felt for him.

  She knew her own limitations and weaknesses. Unless she put it out there at the outset and trusted in Christian's innate integrity to endorse her wishes, she would cave in, fall at the first hurdle and be begging him to consummate their new covenant. There was a distinct possibility she might do that anyway. Trinity wasn't good at denying herself anything she really wanted. It just happened that she rarely 'really' wanted anything that often…except where Christian was concerned, obviously. But she did trust him to hold things back if that's what she asked him to do before they got started.

  When she did have sex with him—and she would; she knew that right down to the tips of her red painted toes—she had just one condition, and that was one she would discuss with him tonight.

  Tonight, Christian walked through the doors of Club Risqué with a lot more confidence than he had the night before. Well, that wasn't strictly true. No one who had seen him yesterday would have labelled him as lacking in confidence; it was one of those things he could pull around himself like a cloak. It was only on the inside, where nobody else could see, that his lack of assurance was evident. It used to be a common thing, in those early days when everything in his life had been so precarious and unpredictable, so he had lots of practice at hiding it. Everything except Trinity, of course. She had always been a sure thing. Always there, always reliable, always quietly, patiently waiting in the wings until he decided to pull her forward.

  It had never once been his intention to use her, and he never would have gone there if it hadn't been for the fact that he knew, with absolute certainty, that Trinity had reaped her own satisfaction from their arrangement. He had realised, during his deeper entrenchment into BDSM, that Trinity was what would be descr
ibed, in the lifestyle, as a service submissive. But Dominance and submissiveness was not something that had been a factor of the relationship they shared, even though, in hindsight, there were obvious, latent tendencies on either side.

  Once again, a sharp spear of regret stabbed Christian in the chest. He wasn't stupid; he'd known Trinity had deeper feelings for him than he had been prepared to deal with. And his reasons had been genuine and sincere in the beginning.

  Hell, they'd been genuine and sincere until the very end. It was just that Bianca had crept up and caught him unawares then blindsided him. She had used his desperation to exert a little control over his life to introduce him to the BDSM club scene and then manipulated his interest to her own ends. During those early days, it had been Taryn whom he had wanted to explore things with, but, somehow, Bianca had managed to influence his thought processes. And he had been at such a low point in his life that she had provided what seemed like a lifeline, and when she'd thrown that to him, he had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker, and she had reeled him in. Christian had been smitten and infatuated, utterly bowled over by her knowledge and enthusiasm and her eagerness to show him what he was missing. She had pulled him and pushed him, setting him on a rollercoaster of exhilaration and delight at a time when everything was bleak and disheartening. And she had filled him with stories about how it would change his life.

  Well, she had done that all right, he thought bitterly. In the process, he had managed to completely overlook the person who had meant the most to him, Taryn, who was always there for him, no matter what, with her quiet, dependable ways, and who never pushed for anything. He goddamn hated himself for that.

  Shaking off the unwanted thoughts of his ex-wife—God! He detested even having to think about her in those terms—Christian made his way upstairs and went to find Trinity. He needed her to chase those dark thoughts away and have her provide a little bit of that calm and reliable aura which always soothed him so much.

  He didn't deserve her, he knew. He had taken her for granted. She had become such an ingrained and steadfast part of his life that maybe he was guilty of believing she was always going to be there, no matter what. But there was no way he was going to let her go again. And he was impatient to explore the lifestyle with her, now that he finally had the chance. It was like a dream come true, and he was determined to hold on to this second chance with both hands. He wanted to explore the future with Trinity, as well as the lifestyle. She just didn't know it yet.

  The tap on her door made her jump, even though she was expecting it. Damn, she needed to pull herself together and get her head out of the clouds. She'd been so busy daydreaming, she hadn't even done any work. It was unlike her to be so tardy.

  Christian walked into her office, the epitome of calm self-assurance and control, and lounged on the corner of her desk, looking utterly edible.

  The plan, remember! Trinity scolded herself.

  "So, are you ready to play properly this evening?" Christian asked casually.

  "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Trinity asserted, decisively, before she lost her nerve…or rather her will.

  Damn it, the man smelled delicious. She could detect his unique male scent drifting over to where she sat, and she wanted nothing more than to lick him all over. Damn, this was all so out of character for her.

  She shook herself mentally and cleared her throat. "I have a couple of conditions I want to set out, so everything is on the table before we start," she told him, hoping her voice sounded more resolved than she really felt.

  Christian nodded and gestured toward the seating area in the corner. "Let's sit and discuss everything," he agreed, and Trinity was pleased that he was taking her wishes seriously and not just fobbing her off as others had done in the past. That kind of attitude was guaranteed to have her heading in the other direction at a fast clip. She couldn't bear Doms who believed that they knew best, simply because they were a Dom. And those arrogant suckers existed, despite her best efforts to avoid them at all costs. A good Dom always listened to his submissive. She gave a satisfied sigh that Christian had jumped that first hurdle with ease and followed him over to the couch.

  "So, what do you want to discuss?" he asked.

  The voice of reason and impeccable intentions had her heart melting all the more. Jeez! Between her out of control libido and her reaction over his obvious attentiveness to her wishes, she'd be melting into a puddle of goo at his feet soon, throwing caution to the wind and giving him carte blanche to do as he liked with her.

  She steeled herself against it and launched into her speech, before she lost the will. "I would like to ask that these first few times we scene, we do not participate in intercourse," she told him, putting her cards on the table and cringing inwardly at just how prim she sounded.

  Christian was all serious acknowledgement. "I am well aware that penetrative sex is on your soft limits, Trinity, and I will always respect that. Did you think I wouldn't?" he asked with a concerned frown.

  "No!" she hurried to reassure him. The last impression she wanted to give him was that she doubted his integrity. "No, not at all." She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out audibly. Choosing the right words was much more difficult than she had imagined it would be. "And I certainly didn't mean to imply any such thing at all. What I mean is I think it's important, given our history, to establish trust and confidence in one another and also in these roles that are new to us and not part of what we are used to fulfilling with each other…Oh God! This isn't coming out the way I wanted it to!" she bemoaned, dropping her head into her hands.

  "Let me start again. Perhaps bluntness is the best option after all." No matter how embarrassing she might find the admittance. "I want to have sex with you, Christian. There is no doubt about that in my mind whatsoever," she said bluntly, hoping that her face wasn't the colour of her poppy red hair.

  "But I want us to establish the beginning of this D/s relationship without sex muddying the water."

  "I think that is a very sound and sensible idea." Christian nodded agreeably. "But, forgive me, I'm still a little confused as to why you think there might be some kind of problem with any of this?"

  Trinity scrunched her eyes tightly closed. There was no getting around it. She was just going to have to come right out and say it and simply bear the subsequent mortification of her admittance.

  Opening her eyes, she raised her head and looked Christian square in the eyes. "What I need you to ensure," she told him in a voice that was far steadier than she felt inside. "Is that you will stick to what we have agreed, here and now, regardless of how much I beg and plead for anything different during the course of our scene, when I might not have such a clear head."

  She saw the very instant that realisation dawned in his sparkling hazel eyes and averted her eyes, unable to hold his knowing gaze any longer and not wanting to see the inevitable smug smirk on his face.

  Christian wasn't going to let her get away with that, of course. He scooted closer to her on the sofa and lifted her chin so that she was looking at him again. His expression was serious and sincere, and he spoke with utter conviction. "I know you don't know what kind of a Dom I am, Trinity, but I want to reassure you, absolutely, that I will never take advantage of you while we are in the throes of an intense scene, and I will never deviate from any agreement we make prior to any scene we embark on. You have my word on that, and right now, I understand that my word, and whether or not I keep it, are the only guarantee you have, but I truly hope you will come to realise that my word is gold and it is something you can trust in."

  Trinity melted a little more. "Oh, Christian. I do trust in your word," she told him earnestly, cupping his cheek with its scratchy five o clock shadow, in the palm of her hand and looking deeply into his beautiful eyes. "Your word is the one thing I have absolute faith in. In all of the years I have known you, no matter what has prevailed between us, you never once lied to me about anything," she assured him of her belief. "That's why I'm
asking this of you, because I know you'll keep your word, no matter how I try to coerce you during a scene." She touched her lips boldly to his generous mouth and struggled to content herself with just that single contact.

  "I want you, Christian," she told him honestly. "I've always wanted you, and maybe I always will, but I also think it's important for us to explore the dynamic of this new relationship before we take that next step. I'm trusting you to hold me to my own words, not because I don't trust you, but because I don't trust myself," she breathed against his lips.

  "You can rely on me, Trinity. I will never let you down," Christian replied confidently, threading his fingers into the short tufts of her hair and sealing his words with a tender but surprisingly light kiss that she battled not to deepen.

  "Is there anything else you want to discuss, before we start?"

  Was there? Trinity's brain seemed to have drawn a blank and she had to forcibly draw herself away from the almost magnetic pull she felt toward him, in order to think straight. There had been something…

  Shaking her head to clear her lust fogged brain, Trinity took a deep, clarifying breath. "Yes," she replied, still struggling to collect her thoughts. "There is one more thing I insist on for the duration of our contract." She took a deep breath and turned to face him once more. Christian stared back at her, his expression serious and receptive.

  "Once we become lovers again, I wish to keep our relationship exclusive until our contract is finished," she told him on a gusty exhale. "It's just a little foible of mine," she explained. "If I enter into a contract that includes full sexual intercourse, then I expect all parties involved in that contract to give their undivided attention to each other without any outside interference. Without that kind of assurance, I will not enter into a fully intimate relationship."