Friends with Benefits (Club Risque Book 5) Read online

  But what did make sense was how much her actions had hurt Christian at a time when he was already vulnerable. She wondered if that was why he hadn't made any attempt to find his mother and, tentatively, asked as much.

  "Trinity, I try to ring my mother every year at Christmas and on her birthday. Even now, she still has my number blocked. It wouldn't surprise me if Bianca sent some evil messages to Krista from my phone, making out they were from me, the same as she did with you."

  Trinity felt sick to her stomach at the thought. Oh, God! Poor, dear Krista with all her anxiety and neurosis. That sort of thing would have been enough to tip her right over the edge. Jesus, Bianca was just plain warped. How could she have done that to a vulnerable woman who was still grieving the loss of her husband and had invested all of the rest of her emotions into her son? Jesus, 'bitch' didn't even start to cover it!

  "Haven't you made any attempt to track her down?"

  Trinity, the last time I saw my mother, she was fragile and upset. I didn't want to do anything that might be detrimental to her health. I might have moved, because I couldn't bear to live in the apartment I shared with Bianca since there were too many bad memories there, but my phone number had stayed the same and I'm in and out of company head office all the time. She knows where to find me if that's what she wants. So far, she hasn't bothered. I think that says it all, don't you?"

  Trinity resettled her head on his chest and kept quiet. She didn't have a choice, really. She hadn't the foggiest idea of what to say. There simply weren't any words to convey the sorrow and the heartbreak she felt for two people who had once meant so very much to her. The situation—for both mother and son—was nothing less than a tragedy.

  Chapter 11

  She was going to do it. Trinity closed her eyes and sighed at the inevitability. Whether it was right or wrong, she couldn't quite decide, but she was curious.

  She was curious about the kind of Dom that Christian was. It was a side of his character that she had never been privy to in the past. And, when all was said and done, she relished the chance to give their reality a new emphasis and not keep thinking back on the heartbreak of the past whenever she thought about him. Or, more accurately, when she tried to avoid thinking about him. This temporary contract would give her the opportunity to do that. This time, their time together would be finite, so there would be no possibility of any unrealistic expectations. Everything would have an end date, which she could accept and prepare for.

  They were well matched as far as limits and specific interests were concerned. Both of them liked a little bit of everything, and neither of them were particularly extreme in their lifestyle pursuits. And as far as accompanying him for functions, well, escort was a role she had a lot of experience playing and was more than comfortable with. Despite happening in different parts of the country, these things were pretty much all the same. The venue might change and there may be a few new faces, but for the most part, it was likely to be the same players as usual and it was likely that Trinity knew quite a few of them.

  It gave her a slight pause to realise that they would likely remember her as Tara, but she'd cross that bridge when she came to it. She wasn't Tara; she never really had been. That girl had just been a figment of Christian's imagination, a perfect persona to fit into his world. She had no interest in becoming that person again. She wasn't the same naïve, malleable woman-child she had been at eighteen. She was Trinity now, and she was happy with the woman she had become—strong, resilient and still ready and willing to serve, but strictly on her own terms. If Christian didn't like it, then that was tough. He could take it or leave it.

  Since it was Friday and a full club night, she had a lot on her plate, but on top of that, Christian would be back tonight to see what her decision was. It had been deferred last night. Things had been too emotional and raw for both of them. It wasn't fair, to either of them, to make a decision under those circumstances.

  But after much deliberation, she had finally made her choice. Tonight, if Christian still felt the same way, they would have their first scene together. The thought had a swarm of hornets buzzing around in Trinity's stomach and she wasn't altogether sure whether it was from anticipation or nerves. Maybe a little bit of both?

  In the meantime, there was work to be done before she could come out to play.

  Christian was unexpectedly nervous when he walked into Club Risqué that evening and he was finding the uncommon sensation rather irritating. He had never been so invested in the possible outcome of a decision based within the lifestyle.

  In fact, since Bianca, he had made a point not to become invested. BDSM was simply a release mechanism. He had discovered it during a period in his life where everything had been out of control—his father's health, his mother's anxiety and, later, her intense clinginess, the decisions of the company board of directors and how their whims might dictate the course of his own life.

  BDSM had given him a much-needed perception of control where previously there had been none. The company might have belonged to his father, but the board would decide who would take his father's place during his illness and after his death. Of course, no one had been as invested in that outcome as Christian had been, but his youth and relative inexperience had counted against him at the time.

  Trinity had been an absolute godsend. He hadn't fully appreciated it at the time, but she had subtly wooed and indulged everyone with her easy-going charm and genuine interest and they had warmed to her, which in turn had meant they warmed to him.

  Things had almost gone horribly wrong when he had introduced Bianca as his escort and later his wife. She had mostly been bored and uninterested and it had showed, and furthermore, where his colleagues and business acquaintances had adored Trinity, they had disliked Bianca intensely and they'd made sure Christian knew. Instead of the subtle schmoozing Trinity had achieved with grace and aplomb, Bianca had flirted with those men who oozed wealth, even in front of their wives and girlfriends, which had caused inevitable friction, and had dismissed those whom she didn't feel matched her standards. And she didn't always get it right. She had once haughtily brushed off the CEO of one of the biggest conglomerates he wanted to do business with, insulting the man by treating him as if he were one of the wait staff. It had not been good for business. It had been just one more thing to cause dissent between them. Bianca became infuriated, and that made her behaviour all the more unacceptable as she became malicious and vindictive towards the wives who had spurned her, insulting their outfits or making snide remarks about their weight. Eventually, he had just stopped taking her and had been accompanied by a work colleague, instead, a practice that continued to this day. He had only been stuck this time, since he was on a protracted trip and it hadn't made sense to drag someone away from work for an extended period just for the sake of a couple of events. He had planned to go alone, if necessary.

  Christian couldn't help hoping Trinity would decide to honour their contract. There would undoubtedly be a lot of his business associates who would be overjoyed to become reacquainted with her.

  Taking a deep breath, Christian headed for Trinity's office to face the music, slightly unsure of what sort of a reception he'd get.

  This was awkward! That was the litany that kept turning over and over in Trinity's head after Christian showed up in her office that evening. How could a process that was so familiar and a person with whom she had been so intimate add up to equal something that was so incredibly uncomfortable? It wasn't as if she hadn't been expecting him. It just didn't make sense. She had told him that she had considered the situation and decided to uphold the contract, so he knew she was all in, which was where he said he wanted to be, too, but now that bit was over with, everything had become stilted and the conversation seemed to have dried up.

  Maybe this wasn't going to work after all. They were never going to manage to play together if they couldn't relax around each other; it just wasn't going to be conducive to a satisfying scene for either of them. She
felt as if they were both tentatively walking over the eggshells of their past.

  It was Christian who broke the impasse they seemed to have come to. "Come here, Trinity." His voice held that deep, indomitable command that had her feet walking toward him before her brain properly considered the options. It was an inherent 'Dom' thing, which every single one of them seemed to possess.

  As soon as she was within arm's reach, he wasted no time pulling her to him and crushing her to his chest. The action took Trinity by surprise. The way things had been going, it certainly wasn't what she had expected, and her mouth opened in a little moue of surprise as he all but squeezed all the air out of her.

  Taking advantage, Christian dipped his head and grabbed her hair in a firm grip that sent tingles rushing from her scalp, then doing the samba in her belly before dancing right on down to her girly bits with a cha-cha-cha. Then his mouth plundered, and his tongue plunged in a way that made her desperate to find out just what else he had learned to do with it since he had discovered the lifestyle.

  He kissed her until she thought she might pass out from lack of air and until the tingles that she had been feeling had spread all the way down to the tips of her toes. There was a subtle confidence and control about his actions that was definitely new. It was nothing loud and brash, and somehow, it affected her more that way. But despite the no-nonsense hand gripping her hair, the strong arm banding her waist, and the way his mouth marauded over her own, everything else was strictly PG. His hands didn't wander and neither did his mouth—as much as she might have secretly wanted them to—and by the time he let her up for air, Trinity felt completely dazed and extremely compliant.

  "Kneel!" he commanded when he finally let her go, and she gracefully dropped to her knees without compunction, spreading her thighs and laying her palms upward upon them in a typical gorean slave pose, her gaze shifting downward in automatic deference.

  She thought she heard a quiet, indrawn breath from Christian but knew better than to look. A wave of peaceful acceptance washed over her, leaving her mind completely calm, and she embraced it all. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she waited patiently for her Master to speak, feeling completely in harmony with herself and the situation, for the first time since Christian had walked back into her life. Right here, right now, was exactly where she craved to be.

  Christian was silent for a long time, just looking at the beautiful visage Trinity made. Seeing her yielding and obedient like this, like the devoted submissive he suspected she was, made his chest give an odd little twinge which he rubbed at unconsciously. She didn't move, she didn't prompt, she just waited patiently for his bidding. Utterly damned perfect!

  "Do you trust me?" he finally asked.

  The small hesitation hurt him more than he could ever say, and he rapidly chose to qualify the statement, "As a Dominant, as your Master or your Sir, within the boundaries of the lifestyle, do you trust me?"

  "Yes, Sir." This time, there was no hesitation at all, and the tight band that he hadn't even realised constricted his chest eased somewhat. Not all the way, since it was clear that her trust only went so far, and it saddened him to know that his own negligence had engendered that doubt, but he would take what was available right now and nurture it, treasure it. The rest would come in time; he would make sure of it. He would never give her any cause to doubt him again.

  But that was for later. At the moment, he had to quit being distracted and concentrate on right now.

  "Good," he replied. "And do you believe in the due process which has matched us as compatible play partners?"

  "Of course, I do; it's part of my job…Sir."

  "Okay, so do you believe we can manage to scene together without the past getting in the way?"

  This time, there was a longer pause and Trinity sighed. "I guess that's the bit I'm not entirely certain about," she admitted.

  Christian nodded, even though she couldn't see him, since her head was still averted. "Then I guess the all-important question is, do you want to try?"

  "You know I do, Sir. I already told you I would honour the contract."

  "Yes, but is that because you want to, or because you feel obliged?" he queried. "I am very well aware of your compliant nature, Trinity, but I want you to think very hard about whether or not you want to do this for yourself."

  "I think I do, Sir," she murmured quietly.

  "You think you do?" Christian pressed, still not convinced by her seeming procrastination. They both needed to be decisive for this to work.

  "I do!" she whispered so quietly he could barely hear her.

  Exhilaration and relief poured through Christian, in equal measures, when she finally committed to an answer.

  "Then come here," he told her, trying to keep his voice steady while his throat felt surprisingly thick. "And lay over my knee."

  Trinity rose gracefully and walked toward where he had settled himself on the largest of her lounge seats, but instead of immediately complying, she tipped her head to one side and asked, "Are you going to punish me?"

  "Do I need to?" Christian queried, interested to see what her response might be.

  "Umm, I don't think so?"

  "Was that a statement or a question?" he asked with a chuckle at the way she had posed it.

  Trinity frowned, and Christian took pity on her and asked another question before she could answer. "Perhaps I should change that to, "Do you want me to?"

  Trinity swallowed, and her eyes darkened with latent desire. The reaction was impossible to miss when her pupils dilated in those pale, silvery eyes, turning them black.

  She didn't answer straight away, her expression taking on that 'deer in the headlights' look, and Christian wondered if she was still having trouble unifying their past and present relationships.

  "Do you trust me?" he prompted her for the reminder.

  "Yes," she whispered emphatically.

  Christian nodded, holding her gaze hostage. "Do you like to be spanked, Trinity?" he asked huskily, his own voice deepening with desire.

  Trinity nodded, her head bobbing slowly up and down and her eyes never leaving his.

  "Then come and lay over my knee." It was said quietly, but the authority was still there, as much as if he'd shouted it.

  She took a step closer then paused again. "May I ask why?" she asked tentatively.

  "You may always ask anything you're unsure about, Trinity," Christian replied confidently. "In fact, I demand it."

  "Thank you, Sir," she said breathily as if someone had stolen all the oxygen from the room. Having her Christian exert the 'Dom treatment' was doing strange things to her brain. It was like there was a short circuit in there or something.

  "I used to fantasize, Trinity, about what it would be like to spank you," he all but whispered. "I used to ache to put you over my knee and paint your ass rosy with my hand, but that was a dynamic we didn't have going on back then."

  He patted his knee, and she took the last few steps that would bring her to him and offered herself over his leanly muscled thighs, ready and willing to take those first steps into a new reality with Christian.

  He handled her easily, positioning her for both of their comfort and ease of free movement…well, free movement for him anyway. Trinity found herself pinned beneath the large hand that anchored her back and his legs, which captured the one of hers closest to him to prevent her from slipping or thrashing. With his free hand, he flipped up the skirt she was wearing and the feel of his warm palm, resting on butt cheeks bared by her miniscule thong, anchored her all the more and spread the same feeling of calm serenity as kneeling before him had achieved. She embraced the feeling with everything inside of her. This was right where she wanted to be.

  Christian was slow and methodical, stroking her ass gently, at first, then rubbing harder. Every so often, he would give a firm squeeze, and the feel of his hands running over that sensitive skin, so close to her squealing girly bits, had her squirming no matter how hard she tried to control
herself. Somehow, though, she still wasn't expecting the first blow. It was swift and sharp, and he wasn't holding back. A second followed and then a third and fourth, alternating sides and working her relentlessly.

  Trinity knew a moment of shock and shrieked out her surprise. It would be true to say that she had expected him to take it a little bit more slowly and cautiously this first time. But actually, the fact that he hadn't turned her on all the more. She loathed being treated with kid gloves because of her stature and daintiness, but it was something she had become used to. It had been something she had expected from Christian rather more, in deference to their previous relationship, but clearly, he wasn't allowing that to colour his perception. That knowledge alone had a thrum of desire pouring through her, along with the endorphins that started to kick in as he slapped her harder, faster, methodically covering every inch of her butt with his handprints until they all merged together to form a single dark pink highlight to her heated rear end.

  It was cathartic. Trinity could feel all of the stress and the anxiety of the last few days, the concern and the awkwardness, and the strain of past memories and old hurts flowing away along with the tears she could no longer hold back.

  She didn't know quite why she was crying. It wasn't that the spanking hurt unduly. It was an erotic spanking, primarily, although that didn't mean it didn't sting. Still, the endorphins had been unleashed and the pain had transmuted into a burning kind of pleasure, heating her up from the outside in and sending hot, tingly sensations throughout her entire body.

  It was her emotions that were flying high, like they had been set free, no longer second guessing herself, her feelings and her reactions, and how they pertained to the past, but finally allowing herself to just feel, brought with it a very liberating acceptance.